11.15.95
Today, I followed up on a lead from yesterday. The guy at 37th St. who told me to come back. I get there this morning and the doors are locked. Oh, great, I think. Yet another dead end. When will this end? I'm itching to work. All this walking around and pounding on doors has taken a serious toll on my patience. I bang on the door, peer through the keyhole. Determined to get inside. I bang even harder. I ring the buzzer. Nothing happens. The buzzer is dead. I'm pounding and pounding. Finally, someone opens the door. I go to the office and announce I am here to work. The guy from yesterday gives me what looks like a disdainful look. He hems and haws. Asks me again if I have had only 1 year of experience. Says something which is probably sewing lingo. I don't understand. When I don't understand, all of a sudden he tells me he talked to his manager yesterday and that they can't use another person. They have everyone they need. I'm astounded. I tell him I've come very far. Why did they say to come today if he wasn't going to give me a job? He sticks by his excuse. Manager said no. I say please try me. I work hard, I try hard. I'll do anything. Please, please? No, he says. He turns around in his chair and picks up the phone as though to say, get out of here. Conversation is over. I stand by his desk. Come on, please try me. He keeps telling me no and picking up the phone. I see no point in lingering around. I leave. This place is so huge. They have so many workers. He has so idea of my skills. Why won't he even give me a try? My rejections are stacking up higher and higher. I am near despair. Another perfectly good lead down the toilet. This place is so huge. Had tons of operators, ironers, the atmosphere was high intensity. The noise was immense. People were working away. But not me. The place also had only two elevators for all 18 floors of the building, and of those two, only one has been working in the two days I've been there. There was what looked like a fire escape on one end of the factory, but I couldn't get close enough to see.
So I walk outside and see two women who had ridden up the elevator with me earlier. They look like they had been rejected too. I follow them out the doors and I see a huge crowd of Hispanic people just loitering on the corner of 37th and 8th. Hmm, they must be trying to get recruited. I walk over there. Everyone stares at me. One man detached himself from the group and asks me if I do jackets. I say yes, I sew. Well, turns out he was trying to get hired from me. He thought I was a recruiter! All of a sudden, when he started talking to me, everyone started milling around. I see a sea of eager faces turned towards me. No, no, no I say. I am looking for a job too. Everyone starts laughing. They disperse. But they keep staring. Probably because I am the only Asian in the group. I wait around with them. One guy tells me if I wait 25 minutes I might get a job. Sounds like heartening news. A Chinese man comes up a bit later. All the people flock around him. He shouts something, asks them if anyone can cut. It is like a human auction. The likes of which I've never seen. He gestures, cutters, cutters. People shout back at him, yeah, yeah, yeah. He starts asking them salary. $5, $4, so on and so on. One lucky girl is extracted from the group and follows him back. The others fall back and sigh, resigned to the fact that they were not picked. The guy comes back a bit later. This time, I go up to him. Try me. I say. Do you cut? No, but try me. He shakes his head and pushes me aside. The others, who had stepped back until this moment all crowd around him. Someone shouts $5. He shakes his head and starts to move away. $4 says someone else. No, no, he says. OK! $2! $1.00! 50 cents! The man shakes his head disbelieving and walks a walks away. Seven or 8 people scurry after him. They follow him away. I follow him too, but then I lose him. Shoot! I think. I go back to my corner. A little while later, the man walks past with a girl. She was part of my group, but obviously he decided to use her because she probably wore him down. She has gotten work for today at least. The rest of the workers settle down again what immense competition! So few jobs, people willing to work for $2, yet can't get hired. The crowd starts thinning out after about 10:30. Many probably got discouraged and left. The weather didn't help the situation much either. It was freezing cold from the Noreaster. A couple drops of rain. Gloomy, overcast. Imagine standing out in that temperature my fingers grew numb. I couldn't feel my feet or my nose. The wind was bitingly cold. I call it quits at the corner.
I followed up on another lead. A man who Mariana had recommended I call. I had been in contact before, but he had always told me to call back-- that he had no work. He told me to call back today. So I did. I ask him for work. "Oh sure, why not?" he says. "Come on over." I cannot believe my luck! Finally, a job! I go over to his place. It is in the basement of an abandoned warehouse, from the outside, you could never know there was a factory tucked away in its corner. I ring the doorbell, and am let inside. I go downstairs to basement. Charlie is, tall, dred-locked, muscular black man. He sits me down at a machine without asking me any questions. "We make hats," he says. "Can you do that?" On the way to the machine, I see a box filled with fleece hats bearing the Tommy Hilfiger and Polo labels. Oh, wow, I think this is amazing stuff. I tell him I can if he shows me. He shows me how and tells me he wants to try me out. All of yesterday's disaster tryout comes flooding back. I pushed that thought aside and sit down. I am nervous. I do one, but it turns out badly. I do another. Mistake again. Oh, no, I think. Charlie comes over and inspects my work. He tells me, "Well, this is difficult," and moves me onto another easier task. I sigh with relief. There is a woman directly in front of me taking my goods and folding them. She is eyeing me like a hawk. Charlie is shouting at another worker, berating her for making a mistake that he thinks is "stupid." And, "How many times must I explain something so simple?" And, "If she wasn't able to do it, she shouldn't be working." I get nervous and make some tiny mistake. The woman immediately pounces on me like she has been waiting for just such an opportunity. I am nervous. I can't afford to make a mistake. No air in the basement-I grow uncomfortably hot. I try to calm down, but sweat is beading on my forehead. I am working and working, churning out hat after hat. I feel more confident as hat by hat goes by w/out a hitch. No problem. Knew I could do this, piece of cake. As if he sensed my confidence, suddenly Charlie comes in front of me. "Listen, you're too slow. If you continue to be so slow, I can't use you." Paranoia and dread and nervousness zoom back in. Oh, no! Just as I was getting comfortable, he cracks the whip. Gotta stay on my toes. Can't relax. Speaking of toes?these metal chains he has. After a mere 15 minutes of sitting on them, the circulation in my legs were cut off. My toes grew numb. My feet fell asleep, even with the constant peddling.
I work for an hour and a half. Suddenly, Charlie sends everyone home. He says he isn't being productive today because he doesn't have enough workers. He pulls me aside and explains it to me again. I say, "Oh well, can I come back tomorrow?" He tells me I am still too slow. But I press him to give me another chance. He tells me to call. I ask him about pay. He tells me he pays in cash, but that he can't pay for my work today. Instead, he pulls out a $5 bill and says, "Here, use this for care fare."
I went possibly to 20 shops today. Every single one of them turned me down.. Some places wanted to test me, but told me to come back and get tested. what did I think? That after three weeks of sewing lessons, I could compete with people who had been sewing for years?
6.4.96
Take ½ day of class in the morning. I realize that I
am ready. I'd better start looking for a job. I scour the building.
How quickly one forgets the humiliation of begging for a job,
that's what we're doing, rejection after rejection. Finally, I
head to another location. I see ads in windows of shops advertising
for various positions. I go to the location but am turned down
because I'm Korean, and the owner feels that she needed to pay
me better than her other workers because of that fact. I walk
into the elevator discourages. The elevator man looks at me and
says, "What's the matter? You don't work there?" I said
no, but I need a job. Bingo, he leads me to a shop where he heard
they were looking for someone.
The woman hires me after a bit of pleading, doesn't ask to see any papers, don't answer my questions about salary. Just puts me to work. I worked 2 1/2 hours today.
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